Step 2 of Owning Your Shit
Define the True Character
Alright, listen up. Your life is a script. Whether it’s an Oscar-worthy masterpiece or a straight-to-streaming disaster depends on one thing: you. You’re holding the pen. No one else. Not your parents, not your boss, not that one “friend” who always has unsolicited advice but zero self-awareness. So, love it, hate it, wish it away—it’s still yours to write.
In Step 1 of the Story Restoration™ framework, we torched the BS. We exposed the lies you’ve been feeding yourself, the limiting beliefs, the “I can’t because…” excuses. But knowing what needs to go is just the first step. Now, we get to the juicy part: figuring out who the hell is actually running the show.
Welcome to Step 2: Define the True Character
This is where the protagonist (yes, that would be you) stops being a background extra in their own life and actually takes shape. Forget the societal labels, the family expectations, the self-imposed “I should be this” nonsense. We’re stripping all that away. You’re about to meet the real you. Fair warning—it might be messy. It might be uncomfortable. But if you’re serious about rewriting your story, you have to do it.
Why This Step Matters
In every great story, the main character is real—flaws, quirks, bad decisions, and all. They aren’t perfect (otherwise, yawn), but they own their shit and grow because of it. Now, look at your own life: are you the main character, or are you just following someone else’s script like an unpaid intern hoping for a promotion?
Defining your true character means reclaiming your damn story. It means ditching the people-pleasing, the fear-based decision-making, and the exhausting need for external validation. Instead, you start living on your terms—flaws, quirks, and all—and stop apologizing for who you are. That’s not just empowering; it’s transformative.
How to Define the True Character
1. Strip Away the Masks
You’ve been wearing so many masks you’d put a masquerade ball to shame. The “perfect parent” mask. The “corporate professional who totally has their shit together” mask. The “laid-back friend who’s always down for anything” mask. Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s time to rip those off.
Ask yourself:
What roles am I playing that feel more like an obligation than a choice?
Where am I performing instead of actually being myself?
Who am I trying to impress—and why do I even care?
Be brutally honest. These masks might have helped you fit in, but they’re also suffocating you. Time to toss them in the metaphorical bonfire.
2. Own Your Flaws
Let’s just get this out of the way: you’re not perfect. (Spoiler: neither is anyone else.) The question isn’t whether you have flaws—it’s what you’re doing with them. Are you hiding them? Beating yourself up over them? Or are you owning them like a boss and using them as fuel for growth?
Think about it:
What are my biggest insecurities?
How have I let those insecurities control my story?
What would happen if I stopped apologizing for them and just owned them?
Owning your flaws doesn’t mean throwing a pity party and calling it self-awareness.It means you’re starting from a place of truth, not shame. And that’s where real growth begins.
3. Align Your Motivations with Your Values
Every great character has a motivation—a reason they do what they do. In your life, they’re what drive your actions, decisions, and relationships. The problem is, most of us are running on autopilot, chasing goals that don’t even align with our core values.
To fix that:
Identify your values. What really matters to you? Freedom? Connection? Creativity? Whatever it is, name it.
Examine your motivations. Are they aligned with those values, or are you chasing something that’s not even yours?
Adjust accordingly. This might mean letting go of goals that aren’t serving you, even if they’ve been part of your story for a long time.
4. Take Responsibility for How You Show Up
Defining the true character isn’t just about figuring out who you are; it’s about deciding how you’re going to show up in the world. This is where accountability comes in. You can’t blame your parents, your boss, or the system for the way your story is playing out. You’re the author now, remember?
Start by asking:
How do I want to show up in my relationships?
What kind of energy am I bringing to my work, my friendships, my goals?
What’s one small thing I can do today to be more aligned with my true self?
When you take responsibility for how you show up, you’re not just rewriting your script; you’re directing the whole damn movie.
Why This Step is Hard (and Why You Need to Do It Anyway)
Defining the true character isn’t a walk in the park. It’s more like walking through fire. You’ll have to confront parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding for years. You’ll have to let go of identities that feel safe but aren’t serving you. And you’ll have to take a hard look at the gap between who you are and who you want to be.
But here’s the thing: growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. It happens when you’re willing to get uncomfortable, to mess up, and to keep going anyway. So if you’re feeling scared, good. That means you’re on the right track.
Bringing It All Together
Step 2 of Owning Your Shit is about stepping into the protagonist role you were meant to play. It’s about shedding the masks, embracing your flaws, and aligning your motivations with your values It’s about showing up as the real you—even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
If Step 1 was about exposing the lies, Step 2 is about reclaiming the truth. And that truth is this: you are the star, the author, the director, and the producer of your story. No one else gets to write your script. So stop handing over the pen.
Own it. Define the true character. And get ready, because Step 3—reworking the catalyst scenes—is where shit really gets interesting.
Stay tuned. Your story isn’t just worth rewriting—it’s worth living.